Letter to A Crooked Wallflower

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My Dearest Crooked Wallflower,

I know that I am, in fact, writing this to a ghost as you are no longer blogging. This makes me very sad because you are a great writer. You were honest and open with your words. You were also pained and hurting. It showed in your writing. I, like many other of your followers, felt it. You tugged at something inside of me and this stranger a world away from you looked forward to reading your writing. I don’t know why you stopped. I pray it wasn’t because something bad happened. Maybe, it was just because life happened.

You have always reminded me of someone Crooked Wallflower. I now know who it is. When I was 24, I had just started going to school for Counseling. I was very much wet behind the ears. I ended up getting a job working at a High School where a met a freshman named Elizabeth. She was a very pretty, shy, quiet girl. She was kind of a goth/emo type. I never really knew what that was until I met her. Anyway, Elizabeth came into my office and started talking to me. She was stressing out about different things like school, friends, and home. She had all these feelings and emotions she wanted to express. I let her get them out and didn’t interrupt her. Then she told me she was a cutter. Inside I was terrified. I didn’t know what to do for her or how to help her. It was my first day! I tried not to show my panic and just let her get it out. She asked me multiple times for my opinion, but I never gave it to her because it’s her life. Who was I to tell her how to live it or what to do with it?

After about a half hour Elizabeth said she felt better and thanked me for listening. She went back to class. I took a breath to try and stop the panic but it wasn’t going anywhere. I called my supervisor and told him about this girl. Her actual credentialed Counselor talked to her and checked her for fresh cuts. She had already been referred to treatment and thankfully she hadn’t relapsed. I continued to talk to Elizabeth over the next  7 months. I found her to be very bright, articulate, kind, and caring. I made it a point to tell her because she probably never thought about it. And she didn’t.

I gave Elizabeth a journal to write in. I told her she didn’t have to share it with anyone of she didn’t want to. That it was just for her to write about whatever she wanted. And write she did. Toward the end of the school year Elizabeth moved. Before she left, she introduced me to her mother who thanked me for giving her the journals and listening to her. She said it made a difference for her daughter. I was glad because I really liked Elizabeth and wanted her to have the best from life.

This is how I feel about you Crooked Wallflower. Wherever you are and whoever you are, I pray that you are getting only the best out of life. That you are working to overcome your fears and anxieties. I hope that you are still doing well at University and that you have opened yourself up to someone. That you have found someone to listen to you on your bad and good days. I hope you find happiness and joy. I hope you experience friendship and real love. I hope that you are still writing even if it is not on a blog. Wherever you are Crooked Wallflower, you have made an impact on me and I appreciate you for it.

Sincerely,

Nat

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