What do you do when someone you love is hurting?


What do you do when one of the few people you love even more than you love yourself is hurting? How can you help when they are in indescribable emotional pain and turmoil? What do you say when there are no words to offer consolation? What do you do when they are too far away to physically embrace them?

My brother lost his best friend in the whole world and there are no words to describe his pain. I try to remind myself that it has only been a week since his friend’s passing and my brother just needs time to grieve. A week has felt like a lifetime. Perhaps it is because he went to the crematorium yesterday and retrieved his best friends ashes along with his friend’s daughter. It was like reliving the day he died all over again. My brother sat there with his friends daughter and just cried. When I talk to him all I hear is pain and heartache. When he posts on Facebook all I feel is sadness. Since when have another person’s burden become my own? I guess this is what happens when you truly love another human being. I guess this is what happens when a person is more than blood or title to you. Their life becomes your life and their burdens become your burdens. Their grief becomes your grief. My brother tries his damnedest to disguise his pain through humor and a tough chin, but it doesn’t work. We are alike in that way. He can try to shrug it off and put on a good and brave face but at night when he’s all alone the reality that he won’t get to see is best friend anymore hits him like an avalanche. It breaks him down to his core.

They say all things heal in time. I pray that this is true for my brother. Losing his best friend is a knife through his heart though. I don’t know if he will ever fully recover from that. Sure, he will go on and live his life as best as he possibly can. But, his life will never be the same without the quality of person that his best friend was. No one will ever be able to fill those shoes. I fear what will happen to my brother without his best friend in his life. Will he give up and sink into a deep and dark depression? Will he rebound and live his life to the fullest in honor of his friend? I pray to God that his choice will be the latter of the two options.

What do you do when the person you love more than yourself is hurting? When your empathy for others becomes more than you can take? When you want to take away the pain but cannot?

I guess all you can do is nothing but have faith, love, and hope.


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