Love & Marriage

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Since about half of all marriages are ending in infidelity, shattered hearts, destroyed dreams, and ultimately divorce I have to ask myself this question: Is marriage for the foolish? Or possibly the insane?

Well, many of us must be foolish or insane because while we know and have seen this statistic first hand, we still enter into marriage. Or, we want to. But, why? Is it because we are genetically programmed to settle down and procreate. Is it because we are hopeless romantics or faithful optimists? Maybe it’s because we have been brainwashed by society that we must do it to have a full life?

I look at the people around me who have entered into marriage: my parents, my friends, my family members. It’s laughable to me that while half of all marriages are ending in divorce, most of the people I know are still married. Happily…well, I cannot speak to that. Complete and total happiness at all times is not something humans are capable of anyway. All I know is whether they are happy, utterly miserable, or someplace in between, they have decided to stick it out and endure marriage for the long haul.

Look at people like Elizabeth Taylor, Larry King, and Zsa Zsa Gabor. All people who have definitely exceeded the number of marriages for a normal human being. Talk about people who love to love. While most people do not marry others this excessively, there are many who will marry twice or three times. This is usually a mistake because the more you marry the greater the chance it will end in divorce. I guess nobody bothered to fill these celebrities in on this statistic. It may have saved them a whole lot of money and misery if someone had.

The capacity of us human beings to love amazes me at times. We will love through dishonesty, betrayal, disgust, and every other negative emotion that we may feel toward the person we are with. Yet, despite all that we still love them. We still feel for them. We still allow them to hold a place in our heart while we ponder whether or not we still hold a place in theirs. Maybe people who are married do this because it is the ultimate commitment. When you get married many different feelings will go through your mind depending on who you are. You stand in front of your family and closest friends and pledge yourself to another person. If you are religious, you take a vow in front of God, to be faithful to the person who stands across from you. Or you just hop on over to the court house and make your union legal and binding in the eyes of the law.

Marriage is an institution that most people willingly enter. The reasons why people get married are as varied as the people themselves. Marriage, like people, perplexes me often. My own reason for waiting to marry include personal choices and happy circumstance. I want to wait until I meet someone worth marrying because I only intend to marry once in my lifetime. The happy circumstance comes from being with guys that I have wanted to marry but they have never asked and, in the end, this ended up being a good thing. They were not the men for me and were not intended for the long haul of marriage.

When we rush into marriage, the odds are in our favor that we are rushing into failure. The statistics show that the later (age wise) a person waits to marry, the lower the divorce rate is. I believe this is because with age comes maturity and a greater understanding for what love is. With age also comes knowledge in what you want in a potential mate. This can lead to a marriage that is long lasting and a love that is forever.

I say wait for love and marriage. Nothing good comes from hurried frenzies after all. What do you think?

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