Romantic Relationships Confuse Me

Romantic relationships confuse me.

When you’re a little girl watching the Disney movie or having the fairy tales read to you, they make it seem so easy. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, and live happily ever after. It’s a done deal, right?


As you get older you realize it’s slightly more complex than that. That boy you like in first grade, well he thinks girls are gross and have “cooties”. He won’t go near you and throws rocks at you every day at recess and lunch. You cry and wonder why he refuses to like you back. Then it comes: anger. You say forget boys. They are stupid anyway. You carry this mantra in your subconscious for the next thirty years of your life. Plus or minus ten.

I was deluded into thinking I would find happily ever after. Why did I think I was so special? I have no clue.

As a grown up I realize that there is no “Prince Charming”. He only exists in the imaginations of young girls or idealistic women. Sure, there are women who will say they have found their “Prince Charming”. Their “Prince Charming” that swears like a sailor, scratches his private parts in public, forgets to put the toilet seat down, or thinks a bowling ball is an appropriate birthday gift.

Yes, he’s everything you wanted the man of your dreams to be.

Not really.

He’s what you settled for because you woke up and realized that this ball scratching, toilet seat lifting, cursing, horrible gift giver is as good as it’s going to get.

If I sound bitter, it’s probably because I am. Just a little bit. Like I said, romantic relationships confuse me. Maybe they are great when the person you are with is on the same page as you.

Guys I meet seem to be on a whole other planet than me. Or vice versa, just to be fair about it. Either way there is nothing similar about our lives.

He wants kids, I’m not ready.

He wants to move out of state, I like where I am.

He wants a threesome, I prefer a twosome.

He thinks I’m not good enough for him, I think he’s an idiot.

See my perplexing dilemma. Romantic relationships confuse me. Probably because I don’t understand how to make them work. I am in a very selfish place at this moment of my life. I like being able to sleep in my bed without smacking into someone next to me. I like having my freedom and independence. I like being able to be me without being self-concious. I especially like not worrying about falling into the toilet late at night.

There is a flip side as well. When it gets cold at night I wish I had a warm body to snuggle under. My feet are always cold and it would be nice to have a pair of legs to stick them under when I’m reading. Sometimes, I want to share my culinary skill with someone special. Plus, my mom keeps dropping hints about having another baby in the family. Oh, the pressures of being 31 and single.

If this what what you had going on wouldn’t you be confused too?


2 thoughts on “Romantic Relationships Confuse Me

  1. Lol! I love it.

    My dating history has been so horrific that my friends nicknamed me Bridget Jones from the movie. They keep telling me to write a book. I used to use online dating…I had a guy show up once with no front teeth (even though he had teeth in his pics), guys show up about 5 inches shorter then they said they were, or I once dated someone for two months who happened to be engaged to someone else. I did find my prince charming (actually knew him all along but we kept messing it up), and he probably does scratch his private parts in public. Be bitter, I used to be! Enjoy being by yourself! I think it is part in figuring all this out. I feel sad for people I know who have never experienced the single life. Dating helps you grow.

    Good luck out there :-)!

  2. Okay, yeah, those are some pretty bad dates. LOL! Maybe you should consider a book. It’s not a bad idea.

    I am enjoying my selfish time. I don’t know how long it will last so I have to. Sometimes people pop up in your life so unexpectedly that you never even saw it coming. Regardless of what does or doesn’t happen I’m living life one day at a time.

    I agree that everyone should experience being single. I know people who hop from one relationship to the next and latch on to their partner like some kind of parasite. I find it extremely sad and I never want to be like that.

    Thanks for wishing me luck. I’m going to need it.

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