A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Endometriosis Day

When you were a child, did you ever read the book  Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?

Today, I feel like Alexander. Today is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. What is the cause of this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? One word: Endometriosis.

Most days are fine and I feel fine. Or, as fine as I can feel. Then there are days like today where I feel like a slave to my disease. I feel imprisoned to the pain coursing through my abdomen. It has taken over emotionally. My cup of hormones runneth over and I want to cry like a baby about everything. I only know one other person who has Endometriosis. A friend of a friend. I don’t know if she feels as horribly as I do and I don’t know her well enough to ask. So, I endure the pain all alone. A lot of my friends don’t understand why I never want to go out anymore. They don’t understand why I am always so tired. For these reasons many of my friendships and relationships with others have suffered. I make no apologies for that which I cannot control.

On the bright side, I do have some wonderfully supportive family and best friends. My mom has watched me writhe in pain since I was 12. I believe she also has Endometriosis but was never officially diagnosed. She endured the same pain I did when she was younger. It’s funny how the people I most value are the people who were able to deal with my mood swings and hormonal gymnastics before I knew anything about what Endometriosis was or that I had it. My two college roommates had to endure this for three years and somehow understood. They never got upset when I would lock myself away or get my attitudes. They were always indifferent about it like they knew I would snap out of it and be me again in a week or two. I absolutely love them both for this. My mother had it worse. She not only had to deal with me through puberty, but also puberty with Endometriosis. Thank God I was blessed to have a mother with the patience of a saint.

How do I deal with my Endometriosis? Sometimes, I feel like I don’t. I feel like if I just ignore it, then maybe it will go away. I am not naive. I know it will never go away. When I was on birth control it helped a great deal. My OB/GYN put me on LoEstrin and it was wonderful. I had no pain and hardly any cramps or fatigue. When I lost my job, I lost my insurance, and I lost my LoEstrin eventually. Paying out of pocket for my birth control became an expense I couldn’t handle anymore. I started taking Advil when that horrendous time of the month hit and that would help as well. However, I hate taking so many pills. It makes me feel like a drug addict or close enough to one. I’ve tried to take a more natural and healthy approach to Endo. I’ve looked up all the different foods and products that the Endometriosis Association says exacerbates the symptoms of Endo. I really have tried to cut those things out of my life, but a life full of habits is exceptionally hard to break.

So, as of today this is where I stand with Endometriosis. A confused, pained, emotionally disgruntled woman trying to find relief for those two weeks or less of every month when Endo takes over my body and my life. If Alexander had been a woman who felt anything like I do the story would’ve been titled, A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Endometriosis Day.

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11 thoughts on “A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Endometriosis Day

  1. i don’t find anything helps as much as i wish it would! i’m on the pill, it gives me incredible nausea & i’m extremely tired but i suppose that’s better than daily pain? 😐
    i know what its like to feel totally alone with your endo, i only know a couple of women with it but there situation seems totally different to mine, their endo isn’t quite as servere & they all having babies

    *sigh
    if you want some one to chat to about this, i’d be happy to chat, it’s nice to have someone to talk to who understands what you’re going through

  2. I know what you mean by having nobody! It sucks! My aunt who lives halfway across the world had endo really bad. She had it so bad that the pain would cause mini-seizures. She calls me every once in a while, but once she hears that I do not have these ‘seizures’ i feel the interest leaving her voice. I do not think she wishes them on me, I just think what she went through is way worse then what I complain about. Add me to the list if you ever need to chat 🙂

  3. even though that book is from my childhood, i read it to my three year old all the time. i also live with endo. i’m 35, and in stage four at this point. i was diagnosed late in my teens, but like you, i’m sure i had it from early teen years on. i just didn’t know i wasn’t supposed to throw up every time i had my period. word got out, though, that was not normal, and i was pissed to find out it was because i had a disease. i’m out of options at this point in my life, but i have tried a lot of things. actually, i think i’ve tried everything. i know it can be incredibly lonely. i absolutely no one with the disease, and since the only complaint my family can see is my…. well, complaints…. it can feel doubly lonely. please feel free to contact me if you need someone to vent to! i would welcome you to the sisterhood, but it is a really shitty one to belong to. :/ at least you’re in good company, because i read a study the other day that women with endo are actually really good looking, comparably, to the rest of the population. so we’ve that. 🙂

    • Thanks for sharing your story. It helps I’m not suffering alone. I get the nausea thing too but I’ve never actually vomited. Also, thanks for embracing me into the sisterhood. Shitty or not, it is what it is, and it helps to not feel isolated 🙂

      The study about us Endo women being really good looking has me smiling from ear to ear and laughing so hard. I think I will be walking with my head held a little higher from here on out. LOL

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