A Note to Myself

Dear Self,

What is wrong with you? Why are you filled with so much doubt. I know you saw that guy in Starbucks checking you out today. He even came over and asked you how you were doing. Yeah, you said good. But don’t think I didn’t notice how much you were screaming on the inside for this guy not to flirt with you. What was up with that? You always ask yourself why you’re single…well there you go.

You doubt yourself too much. You act as if people should be repulsed or disgusted by you. They are not. If you would let someone see the real you, they would love you. You are kind, generous, patient, and caring. You know you’re not perfect and that yes you are flawed but who isn’t. Maybe someone would like the fact that you are stubborn and dogmatic. But you never give them the chance do you? You ran away from that guy like a scared puppy because the thought of being rejected or having to reject him terrified you.

Stop doubting yourself. Let go of those insecurities because you remember what happened the last time you let someone into your life while being so insecure. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have faith that you will figure it all out in due time when it is right. You are truly your own worst enemy, Self. Stop thinking you can read the mind of everyone who looks at you. You can’t! You don’t know what they are thinking and it isn’t your concern anyway.

Be brave. Be courageous. Be confident. Be yourself, Self. If you like you enough, the right someone will too.

With love and concern in her heart,

Nat

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8 thoughts on “A Note to Myself

  1. Wow, reading this was like looking in the mirror… I’ve battled with my own insecurities for years and unfortunately, they have morphed into full blown social anxiety. I think it is SO important that you tell yourself that you are who you are, and that doubting yourself will never get you anywhere. “you are truly your own worst enemy”, what else is there to say?

    Nice post, anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Here here!

    Something i always tell mg co-worker, “walang nangyayari sa taong mahiyain.”. Roughly translated, “nothing happens to shy people.”.

    If we want something to happen, we cannot just sit there with our heads looking up, waiting for something to happen, we must act on it. “it’s better to love and lose than to never love at all” is a clichรฉ but when you really think about it, there is a good point there. I’m sure your blog inspired you to be more open and braver, now the next thing to do IS to be more open and braver. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • “Nothing happens to shy people”, I actually like that. And the cliche of love and lost and blah blah blah, I used to love and live by that quote until I actually loved with everything, then lost it, and I haven’t wanted to love since and feel no better for loving in the first place. Sorry….bitter moment. LOL.

      • Haha i understand a person feeling bitter after losing. But, my theory about relationships is that it needs 100% to work well. 50% from you, and 50%from him. Even if you give everything you’ve got, it will only amount to 50%. Now, if you have given your 50% alreasy, and the relationship still doesn’t work, be happy. Be happy because you know that your relationship really not work. It maybe because he is giving his 50% too but your relationship is really not ment to be, or maybe he is not giving his 50% too because he doesn’t want to. If he doesn’t want to then be happy. Because it just goes to show he doesn’t really want to have a relationship with you. Both cases are better than just forcing a relationship to work or worse, fooling yourself that the relationship is working when it is not

      • Well it definitely didn’t work and we have been broken up for years now. Doesn’t seem to make the heartache any less though. But I definitely agree about relationships being 50/50 to work.

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