Who taught you about sex?
I know, I know. Sometimes I’m very quiet and choose my words wisely and other times I just say what’s on my mind. This post is one of those where I say what’s on my mind. So, if honesty and truth are not your thing just walk away now. Right now. Don’t hesitate.
Okay now for the rest of you, the reason I ask you who taught you about sex is because I was thinking about my early life. Who taught me about sex? No one specifically. And certainly no one person or thing that had any business teaching me about it. My first memories of a resemblance of a sex talk came in the form of me, in elementary school, with my friends, and their older siblings. Yes, I am the poster child for how never to learn about sex. During this first talk I discovered what a virgin was. I realized I was a virgin because I had never had sex. In my young and naive mind I had learned something new and couldn’t wait to share this information. So when I got home I proudly told my big sister that I was a virgin and proudly told her why. She didn’t react as I had expected. She was upset for crying out loud and demanded to know who told me that.
Looking back, I can understand her anger. If I had a younger sister I wouldn’t want her knowing those kind of things so young either. I had to be 6 or 7 which made my sister 16 or 17.
As I got older, up to the age of 13, I continued to learn about sex on my own. Talks with friends who were as inexperienced as me or confessions from friends who were having sex regularly. Then there were the times of sneaking looks at the occasional dirty movie. I took the standard health class with the sex education component in the 8th grade and that was as close to a formal sex talk as I ever had. I had not received the formal lets sit and talk about the birds and the bees talk from my parents. I assumed this was because they were conservative and didn’t want to talk about it. Conservative my ass! Years later I found out that when my sister came to my parents to inform them that she was having sex with her boyfriend they put her on birth control. That was a big surprise to me.
As I entered high school, sex became more and more rampant. Everyone was apparently getting it in and some were getting big nine month surprises. At this point all I knew about sex was that it would hurt a lot, be very awkward, and possibly cause me to get pregnant or catch a disease with or without a condom. I decided sex wasn’t for me at this point in my life. I decided I was going to wait until marriage. Then as I approached my senior year, it changed to I’m going to wait until I’m married or in love. I still never had that sex talk with my parents. Not even when I moved away to college and live in a co-ed dorm. Were they naive or did they just really trust me???
During my freshman year of college I met the cute, dorky, weirdo of my dreams. I fell in love so of course you know what that meant. Not so fast though. I made him wait until I was ready and he respected that even though it drove him absolutely crazy. One night, I went to his room and simply asked if he wanted to? He didn’t even have to ask what I meant. The rest is history…or not. I don’t regret the choice I made to lose my virginity. The way I see things, it happened and I couldn’t take it back if I wanted. It taught me that I am stubborn as hell and I will do things the hard way to learn my lesson. My only regret was not being able to be open up and be honest with my parents like my sister was. To this day she still talks to my mom about her sex life while I shy away from all things sex with my parents.
Maybe one day I’ll get the nerve to ask my parents why they never gave me the sex talk. I mean, they say never stop learning right?