I’m so pumped up and on the largest soap box I can find at the moment. Why? It’s all because of these perfectly, gorgeous, beautiful women I know who don’t seem to know just how perfectly, gorgeous, and beautiful they are.
Today I worked with a woman who is around my age. I think she’s a few years younger than me, so probably in her late 20′s. She is absolutely gorgeous. She has long, silky, black hair. She has a figure that most women would absolutely kill for. On top of all that she’s incredibly intelligent. However, how does she view herself? She thinks something is wrong with her because she has a little bit of cellulite on her body. Her stomach sticks out probably a quarter of an inch so she’s fat. I just wanted to roll on the floor laughing when she pointed these things out to me. But I couldn’t do that because I could see the seriousness and loathing in her eyes when she made these comments. It was the saddest thing I think I’ve ever seen. To see this absolutely gorgeous woman hate herself so much was just so absolutely appalling to me. I had to ask myself, what could’ve happened to her or what could’ve been said to her, to make her hate herself for such minor imperfections?
It doesn’t begin and end with this woman either. All of us women, including myself, put ourselves down so much. Does it help us or hurt us to constantly think of ourselves as inadequate? Also who or what is to blame for these inadequacies? Is it the media and their idealized view of perfection? Is it the unattainable standard of beauty that was made up by someone and held over our heads? Or is it just our own voices in our heads? No matter what it is, it really needs to stop. I cannot take hearing another drop dead gorgeous woman criticize herself for being a meager three pounds overweight, calling herself fat for a miniscule amount of extra skin, or refusing to eat carbs because they will surely make her fat. I think there is a big difference from being healthy and completely depriving yourself for someone elses benefit.
I just think it’s ridiculous that women feel the need to have these thoughts pass through their head, let alone leave their lips. Do men have to go through the same thought process? In my opinion, they might but, it is not as self-deprecating or as often as women. I hate to turn this post into a battle of the sexes, but isn’t that what it always boils down to: women trying hard to please a man. A woman trying hard to live up to the impossibly high standards that many men look for in a woman. I feel like the older I get, the worse it gets. I see it in my sixteen year old niece. She is very tall, very thin, and very beautiful. Yet, she thinks that there is something wrong with her. Instead of spending her Saturday nights having fun with friends, she’s at home doing sit ups because she wants six-pack abs. She’s said she doesn’t think boys like her because she isn’t pretty enough. Where in the heck did she get this idea?
If I look at myself and my own issues, I will admit most of them begin and end with the most influential male in my life. I love my dad. After all he is my dad. However, he hasn’t always made things easy for me growing up because he has expected me to be just like him. While I inherited many of his personality traits, all of my physical traits come from my mom. My dad is tall and thin while my mom is tall and curvy. I wound up short and curvy. This bothered me so much growing up because it bothered my dad so much. I would wear a jacket or sweater around my waist all through high school because I didn’t want people commenting on what I considered my imperfect hips, thighs, and butt. Now, I am 5′ 3″ and was 115 pounds at that time. The only thing I was hiding was a perfectly good figure. Thankfully I broke out of this habit by college and learned to accept and like my body. I can admit I still haven’t learned to love my body.
I’m sure many women will empathize with my personal plight as well as the plight of my niece and the women I work with. When will we learn that perfection is a myth? When will we understand that no matter how much we diet or exercise, there will always be some part of ourselves that we will loath. So, because this is the case why can’t we just accept what we have and not stress about the things we think are minor imperfections. In reality, this is all it is. Just minor imperfections that no one notices but us anyway.